Sunday, March 24, 2013

In the blink of an eye.....

Life is precious and life is short.  I was reminded of these very things this week.  Two amazing people passed away very quickly and very unexpectedly this week.  One at his desk from where he created a very successful business and one going to let in her dog after watching TV with her husband.  Both occurred in the blink of an eye.  And unexpectedly, my grandma has to undergo extensive surgery tomorrow.  To say the least this has been a shocking and stressful week.

I wanted to post this today because I woke up in one of the reflective moods.  I lost my mom, my "sister" who I have been friends with for 27 years, now lost her mom, and my cousin who was just launching out on his own, with his first wedding anniversary being today, lost his father. So many questions, with no answers, with only grief to feel.  We have all experienced grief in such different ways, none of it being any less real, any less painful, and less life changing than anyone else's loss.

It struck me this morning that grief is an expression of how much we loved that person who just passed.  How much they meant to us.  How much they were a part of our being.  Grief, needs to be felt.  Some cry, some reflect, some even laugh about all the good times, some sit quietly, some want to be alone.  None of it being less significant than other expressions.  Some people wonder how they will possibly go on without that person.  Some wonder why they never fixed their problems with that person. Some think that if they would have just did this or that, maybe that person would have never left.  I know that I thought so many things when my mom died, and I needed too.  I needed to process it on my own in order to move on.  Grief is a funny thing.  It almost never goes away, it just changes.  I grieved even today for things that I wish my mom could see; like my babies, my husband, my blog, my house, etc.  For me though, I remember that I carry her with me everywhere, so she is there to see all these things and hasn't missed a thing, but it took me a while to get to this point.  For everyone though, that point has to be reached, or you life ends with that person.  I learned that from my grandparents.  My mother's parents lost all three of their children, two from cancer and one from a boat accident.  My father's mother lost her daughter to muscular dystrophy and two husbands.  All of them today live full lives because they wanted to live, love and honor the ones who have passed and the ones who are still here. 

I write this blog for many reasons, and it always amazes me that people stop by from all walks of life to read it. I hope that if you are reading this that you yourself are not experiencing grief, because it sucks to put it mildly.  But if you are, know that you are not alone, know that I get it, and know you are allowed to feel whatever it is that you are feeling.  But know also that time continues, time will not stop so don't let too much time pass by.  There is still life to live, and those to live and love with, and never forget to take that person(s) with you so they don't miss a thing.

3 comments:

@dkotucker said...

I am so, so sorry for your losses. That so does suck.

You are right...as time goes by your broken heart will start to heal as hard as it is to think it ever will.

Take care Lisa. D

Where Did The Bird Go said...

Your mom most definitely sees you still in all your moments in life. She sees you with your boys, she sees you with you husband, she sees you writing posts, she sees you all the time.

Made me tear up Lisa. Thanks for writing this post. Hope you can still find happiness even in your moments of grief.

If I lived near you I would bring you some of our favorite chocolate cookies;)

Lisa Lohr said...

Thanks for the comments D and Birdie! I appreciate it! :)