Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Tootie Butt

Aspie saw this picture and said, "Is that a tootie butt?"
For a long period of time, my aspie hated passing gas.  When I say hating it, I mean if it happened he would scream and cry and run out of the room as if his behind was on fire.  I could never figure out why something so harmless as a fart would cause such grief and agony to my little man.  Each time I would chase after him thinking that maybe something hurt, maybe he had to do a little more than toot, or just to comfort him after such a dreadful event occurred. It wasn't until he was a little older did we realize why he hated doing it.

As you could probably already tell, my family and this blog for that matter is not so PC.  To go a little further, my husband (and me, I have to admit) thinks that blowing wind is pretty funny.  We all do it, its a natural bodily act and therefore it really should not be that funny, but there is something about the unpredictability of it, the variability of the noise produced, and lets face it, those dreadful smells that make it funny.  Not to mention the whole family of lingo that goes with it makes it all the more amusing.  Let's see, there's crop dusting, silent bombs, toot, mouse on a motorcycle, the duck call, the Dutch oven, the bathtub fart, the burning brakes fart, the snart (sneeze fart), and the oh my gosh fart just to name a few.  To be honest, I didn't even realize that there was such a diction to passing gas until, of course, I met my husband.  I am guessing that this jargon is tossed around the Army bases and man caves pretty frequently, but escapes those girly things that us women do and hence we miss out on. Therefore, with my new found knowledge of toots, and with my husbands natural loving of the occurrence, if someone passes gas in our house, we think its sort of funny. 

For most families, a little laughing with farting would not be a problem; however, if you son happens to have Asperger's and you laugh in their direction, its a major deal.  For my son, any attention where laughing is occurring towards him can cause a major meltdown.  Even if its a little chuckle, it's too much for my aspie to bare.  Why?  Because it's unwanted attention.  Since one of his biggest fears is people looking at him, to look at him and then to laugh "at him" is pretty much a form of abuse in his eyes.  When he got older and could talk, he finally started yelling, "Stop laughing!!  I have had ENOUGH of you!"  We would often times just say to him, "We can laugh.  We are not laughing at you.  We are just laughing because it was funny."  This would not change anything, he would still scream and run.  To him, I think our explanation of laughing sounded like the adults in Peanuts, just some squeaky noises that form no real words and so he didn't understand it. 

Now in most "neuro-typical" families, if your kid does not find it funny that you laugh at his farts, you still laugh and move on living your life typically.  In a family with someone with autism, you obsess, or at least this mom obsesses.  I just wanted my kid to enjoy the silly things in life.  Life can be so serious, that sometimes the unpredictable event, like a toot, can just lighten it up a bit.  Plus, there are many things we do daily that are silly.  The baby walked into a glass sliding door the other day...it was funny, he laughed with us.  I slipped in the mud and fell and laughed with the kids.  If he can't get use to us laughing all together, and more so when he does somewhat embarrassing but funny, then that is a social problem.  So, mommy took action. 

Have you ever heard of the peanut butter jelly time song?  If not, play the clip below to get yourself familiar with it.  It's this crazy song that gets stuck in your head for days on end.  This song was popular when my aspie was 1 or so, and so I would sing it to him when we were about to do simple tasks like taking a bath (It's peanut butter tubby time), when we were eating, (It's peanut butter snacky time), and many other silly things.  Therefore, he was very familiar with the song and it is one of the very few songs that I can sing without him having a catastrophic meltdown.  So, in desperate times, I reach for this song and use it.  And so, mommy, being the amazing song writer that I am, wrote the now infamous song in the house of crazies, "Peanut butter tootie butt." I was waiting for the perfect time to release this single, so when Daddy did the deed one night at dinner I saw my opportunity.  "Daddy you have a tootie butt! It's Peanut butter tootie butt, peanut butter tootie butt, peanut butter, tootie, peanut butter, tootie, peanut butter tootie with a baseball bat!"  I sung it like it was the best and funniest thing ever. We ALL started laughing, including my aspie, who said, "Do it again Daddy."  Just so happened that he needed to do it again, and so I sung it again.  My aspie laughed and laughed with the rest of us.  Although he requested yet another on coir, Daddy didn't have it in him and so the moment passed.

A few days passed and I could hear my asie sing something in a muffle.  "What are you singing honey?"  I asked.  "I have a tootie butt he exclaimed!"  "Oh really" I said, gigging to myself.  A little time passed and I heard what he was talking about.  "Mommy did you hear that!  That's my peanut butter tootie butt!" "That's cool honey, that's totally cool."

Of course all things good can backfire, as does the tootie butt song.  In Walmart, and thank God it was Walmart, our baby started passing some gas.  My aspie, in his adult like monotone voice proclaimed, "Our baby has a tootie butt" and proceeded to sing the song.  As yet again I rushed the cart down the isle to escape the many stares and silent giggles that followed.  In our escape I decided that the next thing I need to instill in my aspie are the things that we do at home vs the things we do in public.  Oh boy....

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