Wednesday, January 15, 2014

If one, then why not two....

I have always been one of those people who think if you have one of something then why not just have two.  I really have applied this concept seamlessly through all aspects of my life.  If I have one chip, why not two.  If I have one dog, why not two (to keep each other company of course).  If I have one cat, well two has to be worked for the chips and the dogs.  So then when it comes to autism if I have one with it, then why not two. 

For a couple of months now we have noticed a few things about our baby that have been a little bit of a red flag.  Most of the time, we did exactly what we did with our aspie, we blamed it on anything we could think of.  Oh, its just the terrible twos.  Oh, he didn't sleep well last night.  Oh, he must be hungry.  And every other excuse you can think of.  But as the excuses started rolling of my husband, our parents and even my tongue, I felt like deja vou all over again and I knew I had to start looking at the obvious.  Fact was, baby was showing signs of autism.  Fact was, our in home therapist saw it and helped us in her ever so sweet way by putting up with all of our "is this normal" questions and helping us get our heads wrapped around the possibility of having two on the spectrum.  And although one would think that since we already have one aspie, then it wouldn't be too emotional with getting the other one diagnosed.  But to be truthful, it was harder. 

Unfortunately and unfairly we just assumed that our baby was going to be the "normally" one.  We took this on faith because the original doctor that diagnosed our aspie told us that having another aspie is like winning the lottery, chances are slim to none.  (But now we know that its actually the exact opposite.  Chances are higher if one boy has Asperger's and the younger siblings are boys.)  And so to see our baby start to struggle and do "odd" things was actually unbelievable at first.  "But the doctor said it was really not a chance", when we would question something.  And "he's just mimicking his brother", when we would question something else.  It just can't be.  It just can't.  But it was.  And really the things he was/is doing was undeniably happening.  Here's a list of a few so you can understand why it was so glaring to us even when we wanted to be blind.

  1. Every morning he wakes up immediately wants to get dressed with his snow boots, then go into the bathroom while I get ready to line up lotion bottles in a basket on counter.  Then he lines up the toilet paper rolls.  Same routine everyday, never changing.
  2. He has no interest in toys except for trains.  And he only builds them and rebuilds them and pushes them around.  Other toys he just throws or ignores.
  3. He eats anything and everything.  Pencil erasers, stinkbugs, springs, marker tips, toys, etc.
  4. He hates loud noises. 
  5. He cries uncontrollably if something he watches on TV goes off.  When I say uncontrollably, I mean for hours on end asking for the same show.  Tantrums can last up to 3 hours until we give in or I take him for a car ride.
  6. He is the clumsiest kid I know.  He falls walking.  He is so used to us asking if he is okay that he states, "I'm okay!" before we even ask.
  7. He is extremely smart.  He is two, knows his colors, shapes, body parts, alphabet, numbers, trains, and is starting to read.
And so when it was time to be diagnosed, when we couldn't deny it anymore, I fell into a bit of a depression.  I didn't know how I was going to do it.  I didn't know how my husband, our family, and our aspie was going to handle it.  And the idea of ever being normal just went flittering away.  But then I started thinking, what the hell is normal anyway.  This is our normal.  When you know no different it is your normal anyway.  And we handled anything.  We got through worse, we can get through this too.  And so, I started feeling better.....oh and the anti-depressants I got put on probably didn't hurt either. 

And so, if one, then why not two......

1 comment:

@dkotucker said...

Anti-depressants are my BFF just so ya know. :)

You hang in there!